"I'm ready for bed," said Hugh, "is it time to go to bed yet?"

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Courtney Love and Hugh Hefner Tie the Knot

Courtney and Hugh


Courtney and Hugh on their honeymoon. Hugh was overheard saying "there are two things I really love about her, but I just can't remember what they are."

CN. PARIS, France. It came as a big shock to her hoards of rock fans. Courtney Love had eloped and married Playboy Magazine's owner, Hugh Hefner,  in a secret ceremony in Paris.

Family member's of the newlyweds feel the marriage will be a stormy one. CN overheard a close relative of Hugh stating "he just wanted to do her, but she held out for a ring. The bitch just wants all his money!" When Courtney was told of this statement, she replied "oh, they can all go fuck themselves. And what's wrong with money anyway? You can't take it with you, but where in the hell can you go without it?"

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Courtney at clinic


Courtney hanging out inside a methadone clinic in Seattle. She needed to get a locked box of enough methadone to get her through the honeymoon.

Hugh Hefner seemed quite happy with his new wife and wore pajamas the entire time. "I'm ready for bed," said Hugh, "is it time to go to bed yet? I bet she's better than Madonna! Where am I, anyway?"

CN asked Courtney if this was something just done on a whim or if she felt that Hugh was truly her soul mate. Courtney responded "what? Whim? Hugh? I could really used another gin and tonic and WHO IS HOLDING THE COCAINE?? This methadone is putting me to sleep! HEY, who took my Miller Lite? And tell that BITCH from People Magazine that I want the fucking front cover or the interview is off!"

CN asked Hugh Hefner if Courtney would play a major part in the artistic direction of Playboy magazine. Hugh responded with "maybe. She has some great ideas. At least she says she has some great ideas. Of course I'm not sure what ideas she has since she is always nodding out in mid-sentence, but I'm sure she'll get around to telling me her ideas. She is just such a beautiful, unusually gifted young women. Did you know that she wants to be a rock star? I could help her with that dream, maybe."

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