Beatles Subliminally Push the Youth of the 60's into New Age Doctrine
Paul and Ringo violently trying to persuade John
CN LONDON. Scientists meeting at a special cultural symposium in London have discovered and demonstrated the major role that the Beatles played in bringing about the cult of "New Age" religion.
Speaking on behalf of his colleagues and their newly published research, Dr. Meyer of Cambridge University explained in exact terms the methodology used by the Fab Four to subvert young people. Dr. Meyer explained, "basic doctrine was subliminally introduced by the early Beatle song 'She Loves You' and culminated into pagan demise with the song 'Why Don't We Do It in the Road.'"
Dr. Meyer and his colleagues divided the Beatles's songs into numbered stanzas much like the chapter/verse numerical system of the Bible. 'She Loves You', Chapter 1, line 1, states 'she loves you, yea, yea, yea' which is the Beatles argument that 'She' loves you, not 'He'(i.e.Christian Our Father...) loves you; calling up the pre-Christian, Egyptian cult of Isis, which survived under many different names until driven underground by the Roman Catholic Church in 300 CE. For some time, most scholars felt 'yea, yea, yea' was simply a tool of confirmation, but Dr. Meyer has found that at the time the Beatles song was written; 'yea' had not as of yet been defined and that the Beatles were using a shortened version of the Hebrew name for God 'Yahweh.' The Beatles probably said 'yea' instead of 'yah' so as to not poke a dialect put-down of their Norwegian brothers and sisters. In any case, the newly found meaning of 'yea' and the fact that it repeated three times in line 1 and 2 documents the Trinity; thus merging the Isis cult into Catholicism.
"The only mystery we have here" states Dr. Meyer, "is the introduction of the fourth 'yea' in line 3, which is overtly emphasized in the song. The 'yea, yea, yea, YEA' introduces the concept of the 'Quadinity;' a very heretical notion since the concept of the Trinity was accepted at the Council of Nicaea in the fourth century. The Beatles were obviously adding the female (mother) element into the 'father, son and holy spirit' formula; thus we now have 'Father, Son, Holy Spirit and the Mother.'"
Feminists at the symposium objected to Dr. Meyer's classifications. Arguing that 'She loves you, yea, yea, yea, yea' meant the proper path for the elements of the Quadinity should read 'Mother, Father, Son and the Holy Daughter Spirit.'
We may never know the truth since 'yea, yea, yea, yea' is attributed to John.
An anonymous Vatican spokesman is quoted as saying, "this may be the next big 'schism' within Catholicism. It's this sort of heretical climate that creates a Marilyn Manson."
copyright 1999 by CN