"Seventy per cent more fingerprints on Whatever Girl."
-physical anthropologist Alisha Wiseman

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Amount of Visible Human Female Leg Baffles Physical Anthropologists

"YOU, Mr. Yamameto, could turn ANY woman into a dike."
-Alisha Wiseman




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CN. PARIS, FRANCE. When the board of directors for Le Mode, one of the worlds largest grossing fashion designers located in Paris, met with their fashion designers; they wanted more than a 'guess' at what was going to be hot for next years apparel for women. The board wanted 'at least an educated guess.'

Le Mode's board of directors voted on setting up a scientific research group, composed of the worlds most respected physical anthropologists, and allotted one million dollars to study what skirt length women and men really wanted. The Anthropologists hired for the research group were:
-Ron Ducharme of the University of Paris, France
-Alisha Wiseman of the University of Cincinnati, USA
-Larry Yamameto of Tamagawa University, Tokyo
-Celia Reed of Cambridge University, United Kingdom

The four anthropologists had a professional photographer take the above photos. The research group named the photos in the following manner:
1. 'Granny'
2. 'Business Women'
3. 'Whatever Girl'
4. 'YAD' (acronym for Yoga teacher, Aerobic instructor, Dance    
     instructor; pronunciation rhymes with 'Bad')
Although the research group only needed the first three for study, they decided that the forth picture should be included for their personal evaluation. Two control teams were formed, one team composed of four men and another team composed of four women The research group picked the control teams from volunteers who answered ads appearing in several Paris newspapers. All volunteers were between the ages of 18 to 39. Each control team was put into a nicely furnished room for 30 minutes with the above photos lying on a coffee table. The control teams were not told what the rooms contained and the pictures were never mentioned by the anthropologists. The rooms were wired to record the control team's conversations.

After the control teams were dismissed; the photos were collected and dusted for fingerprints. Needless to say, the research team was dumbfounded. "They all went after photo number three," Alisha Wiseman remarked. "Seventy six per cent more fingerprints on 'Whatever Girl' by the men's control group. Eighty three per cent more fingerprints on the woman's control group! We thought that, at least, the men's group would go more for the 'YAD' photo." Larry Yamameto quickly spoke up, "ah, maybe control women all dikes!" Alisha responded, "YOU, Mr. Yamamento, could turn ANY women into a dike. And quit glaring at my breasts!" Mr. Yamameto responded, "ah, man always need look at mountains. Fill him with adventure!"

Celia Reed of Cambridge University made note, "analysis of both control groups conversations have one word in common and that is the word 'slut.' The women's group sometimes used it in a derogatory manner  while the men's group always used it in the affirmative. It seems that some women may LIKE looking at what they feel they DON'T like." Larry Yamameto responded, "ah, maybe those some women have fat legs!"

"What is truly perplexing," said Ron Ducharme, "is what we have named the 'YAD Enigma.' We purposely took the photos with a mood of shadow to try and fool the control teams into thinking the model in photo number four was simply wearing a skirt pulled up to the model's waistline, but it didn't fool any of them. They must of have known that the model was only wearing a body shirt. It's now a fact that both men and women find that hiding a small section of a female's upper leg constitutes aggressive sexuality and controversy. If we look at the human female leg categorically; it should be 'YAD' that creates the real diversion." Mr. Yamameto responded, "What enigma? Hookers always do 'Whatever Girl' and make lotta cash."

With these latest findings, Le Mode is gearing up for next years fashions. Spokesperson for Le Mode is quoted as saying, "be sure to look out for our new line of fashion skirts and dresses labeled 'WhatEVER Girl!'"

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photos by researcher chris landry  

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